


Mall Cop Movie Night

by Tornadodude



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comedy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Movie Night, No Sex, POV Third Person Limited, Paul Blart: Mall Cop - Freeform, Post-Canon, Romance, Silly, Unofficial Mall Cop Sequels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tornadodude/pseuds/Tornadodude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Garrus watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mall Cop Movie Night

Shepard paced nervously around the foyer of her apartment, casually checking the nearby clock every ten seconds or so. This night was among the first of casual, relaxed dates she would ever experience, and was particularly nervous at the thought of something going wrong.  
She had prepared intensively for this night, getting out snacks, popping popcorn, making sure to pick out special food so that her date wouldn’t accidentally poison himself as any good partner would do. Shepard walked over to the large mounted television opposite the door to double check the movie rental, just to be safe. As expected, nothing had changed. The digital storefront still displayed Kevin James looking proudly off into the distance, dressed sharply in his mall security guard uniform, looking stoic as ever.

As the commander reached to put her remote back on the coffee table, she heard a series of knocks that she knew could only be her less-than-punctual date. She moved quickly to the door, tossing the remote on the couch behind her as she went.

“Who is it?” Shepard asked into the microphone, sarcastically. she could plainly see the turian outside her door thanks to the help of a conveniently placed camera outside the front door of her apartment.

“If only there was a camera that could help you in a situation like this…” Garrus remarked, glancing at the camera. Chuckling, Shepard opened the door and let him inside as all of her pre-date worries melted away. 

“So, are you really sure you want to do this?” The commander asked. It was not common knowledge that the early Mall Cop movies were actually considered bad at the time of their release, due to the franchise's current stance as the best series of films ever produced. The earliest many fans of the series care to look back on is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 6: Space Mall Showdown. By this time, Kevin James had undergone many technological upgrades to ensure that his legacy of movie survives until the public no longer requested them, however, that never happened. As a whole, many people in the galaxy accept all Mall Cop films as flawless, but Shepard thought it might make a fun date to watch the original with Garrus. Not to mention the fact that Shepard had already seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop before this date. She already knew exactly what she was getting Garrus into, and was internally excited to be watching it with him, due to his short temper. Seeing Garrus annoyed was one of Shepard’s favorite pastimes, as it usually involved long rants, excessive amounts of sighs and arm-crossing, and Garrus just being overall flustered, which the commander found rather adorable.

“I’m sure. I’ve never really been a big fan of the Mall Cop movies myself,” Garrus started as he proceeded into the apartment, “I lost interest after the one they did on the Citadel, Mall cop 12: The Blartening.” He wasted no time in taking a seat at the couch and grabbing a glass of wine that Shepard has laid out previously.

“Hey, that movie was a classic and you know it.” She said jokingly as she took a seat next to Garrus.   
“Don’t worry, I know you like some good movies.” He said in response, putting an arm around her as she snuggled up next to him. 

“Alright, let’s get this shipwreck started…” He said, resting his head on Shepard’s as she started the movie. The screen faded to black as the movie loaded up. Curled up against her evening date, Shepard began to feel a sudden onset sleepiness befall her as the title screen of the classic movie Mall Cop whooshed on-screen. She began to slump down, eyes heavy as she slid down Garrus’s side, stopping ultimately with her head resting on his lap. Shepard was well aware that Garrus wasn’t the softest of people she’d come into contact with, but she felt extremely safe and secure resting on the turian’s leg. This feeling was only intensified when she felt his hand rest upon her waist, speeding the tiring commander off to sleep.

“Shepard…” A familiar voice called, “Shepard, Shepard, wake up!” Shepard felt her consciousness slowly returning to her, along with a gentle hand shaking her awake. The commander awoke to her date excitedly looking between her and the television, currently displaying Paul Blart giving one heck of a smackdown on some unnamed goons. 

“Shepard this movie is great.” Garrus stated without a hint of irony or sarcasm in his flanged voice. By the look of his face, Shepard could tell the turian was genuinely enjoying one of the worst movies ever produced by humans.

“Wait a second…” Shepard started, still shaking off her post-nap grogginess, “Garrus, do you...Are you actually liking this movie? Like, you...enjoy it?” She questioned, completely baffled at her date’s lack of sarcasm.

“I don’t know what I expected, but I really wasn’t expecting it to be this good!” He exclaimed, gesturing at the T.V, which featured Paul Blart doing something or other. Honestly Shepard was past the point of actually watching the movie and had preoccupied herself with being absolutely astonished at the fact that Garrus Vakarian, known for being mostly serious in all matters but romance, is unabashedly having a great time watching Mall Cop. 

“Garrus, you’re messing with me, right?” Shepard asked, watching the turian excitedly staring at the movie, his bright blue eyes full of stars and a smile on his face. Before he could give an answer, the Blart man himself delivered a joke after finishing up his aforementioned smack down on a particular goon. For a reason unbeknownst to Shepard, the caused her date, now completely engrossed in the movie yet again, to burst into a laughing fit. Shepard found herself unwittingly smiling at the sound of him laughing in such a carefree and genuine manner, something that was quite rare as of late. He really does have a nice smile… Shepard thought to herself, watching Garrus, still unabashedly loving Paul Blart: Mall Cop, It’s too bad we can’t be like this all the time… 

“Hey, Shepard, are you okay there?” Garrus asked, placing a hand on her shoulder, “You’re kinda spacing out over here.” Shepard immediately felt the blood rushing to her face and forming into a vicious blush as she realized she had spent the better part of that thought train staring at her date. Unfortunately for her, Garrus wasn’t the unobservant type. He was holding her gaze with a slight concern, however, Shepard was attempting to avoid looking like more of a love struck fool than she already had made herself out to be.

“Hmm? Oh! Yeah, yeah,” She stuttered out, unable to find the appropriate response for whatever reason. She found it strange that the only time she was at an utter loss for words was in the presence of Garrus, who, as she had come to find out, wasn’t nearly as smooth as she had anticipated when presented with romance. 

“Shepard, you know you can tell me if something’s wrong, right?” He said, sliding closer and putting an arm around Shepard. 

“Garrus, trust me,” Shepard started, snuggling up to him and embracing her date in a hug while simultaneously cuddling him, “There’s absolutely nothing that could be wrong right now.” Shepard leaned in, gave her date a little kiss on the neck, and smiled as she caught Garrus doing what she could only assume was the turian equivalent of blushing. He responded in turn by giving Shepard a kiss on the forehead, causing her already rosy cheeks to turn bright red. She wasn’t used to these sorts of cutesy things being done around her, and especially having said cutesy things done to her. Despite this, she found herself feeling completely at ease with the situation around her, even taking into account that Paul Blart was still playing and was still capturing a large amount of Garrus’s attention, save for the current moment they were sharing.

“I’m so glad we did this Shepard, it’s nice to spend time with just you. Away from the Normandy and all the war and stress. It’s good to just...relax, you know?” Garrus stated, still watching the movie.

“Yeah, this is nice,” Shepard began in response, resting her head on his shoulder, her arms still wrapped around his body. It was such a rare sight to see Garrus without his heavy armor. Shepard could generally see the collar of his normal attire poking out from his armor, but she was rarely granted the opportunity to see him completely without his protective gear. It was a nice change; Shepard could tell that he felt safe without it here, something that couldn’t be said about many places, including most parts of the Citadel itself.

Shepard sat, completely contempt in her boyfriend's arms as the old Blart man did his thing. They remained like that for a while until Garrus started shifting around uneasily. He seemed somewhat anxious about something,but Shepard was unable to pinpoint what exactly was bothering him. The turian had begun practically wiggling in his seat by this point, making Shepard's position in his arms just slightly uncomfortable and only a little unbearable.

"Garrus, sweetie, what's up with you? Why are you fidgety all of a sudden?" Asked Shepard, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

"Oh well, you see I just, heh, had this idea and..." He started sheepishly, audibly nervous."Well, I've been trying to think of a good way to, you know, ask you." If turians could blush, he would be bright blue; he had barely been able to look Shepard in the eyes, and spoke without the standard confident snarkiness that he usually did. Shepard had no clue as to what idea could possibly make her boyfriend so flustered. 

"Shepard..." He started reaching for the commander's hand instinctively, which she gave to him immediately. "I was wondering, you know how you like to cuddle sometimes?" He asked, his free hand tracing little circles on Shepard's thigh. 

"Yes?" She asked, genuinely interested as to what could possibly be coming next. 

"Well, I thought it might be fun if I, we... you know, how do I put this..." The turian was extremely flustered at this point; he gripped Shepard's hand a little tighter as he gathered the courage to ask his girlfriend his question. 

"Would you mind if I was on the top this time?" He finally asked. Shepard could barely contain her laughter; she thought for sure Garrus was messing with her, but the genuinely flustered look on his face proved otherwise. His eyes shifted around nervously, along with his mandibles twitching very slightly as he awaited Shepard's response. Gazing at him, sitting there, unarmored, anxiously awaiting her response, Shepard realized just how little quality time she had actually gotten to spend with the turian. With Garrus's hand in hers, she felt particularly ay ease. 

"Or course we can do that sweetie." Shepard responded, snapping back to reality and remembering her boyfriend's question. Garrus then stood up, prompting Shepard to scoot on over to his seat against the arm of the couch. The cushion was still warm from the pair's combined body heat. Despite the different biology, Shepard had noticed that turians tended to be very warm a large portion of the time; maybe that was why Garrus hated the cold, she thought to herself. 

As she shifted into 'big spoon' position, she began to consider the logistics of the situation. When Garrus was on the bottom, his contours let Shepard fit extremely well against his body. However, those curves he possessed worked against her in this situation, not to mention that he wasn't exactly the softest thing on the Citadel. Upon realizing this, Shepard began to raise an objection. However, Garrus's facial expression was one of the happiest she had ever seen since meeting the turian. 

Garrus laid down on top of Shepard, pressing his weight on top of her and cuddling up against the Commander. Surprisingly, Shepard was much more comfortable than she had anticipated; she wrapped her arms around Garrus's body and grabbed his hands. At this point, the two of them were both laying down, Shepard's head against the armrest, Garrus's head resting on the front of Shepard's shoulders, right at the base of her neck. She could feel his deep breaths, the rising and falling of his chest, every subtle movement he made, she could feel. She couldn't see his face from the position he was in, but she could tell that he was positively beaming. 

Sitting there, cuddled up against Garrus, Shepard felt absolutely contented and safe. After all she had been through, saving the Citadel, destroying the Collector base, and practically dying to beat the Reapers for good, she never had the opportunity to just relax. Even during her party, she took most of her time checking on everyone else. This however, was just for her. Just good, quality, safe time with Garrus And she wouldn't trade this time for anything. 

"Garrus?" She asked, gently stroking his head, still lying against her.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic I've written so please leave comments and tell me if you'd like to see more stuff. You can follow me @ http://stackablecups.tumblr.com/


End file.
